Friday, March 2, 2018

The False Immunity of Christians

Once upon a time there was a girl. Her life was difficult, and she struggled a lot. She looked at her friends who went to church, and she saw how happy and carefree they were. She started going to church, became a Christian, married the right man, had perfect children and lived happily ever after. The end.
Right?
On no. So wrong. So very wrong.
My name is Wendy. I am a Christian. I had some tough times before I was a Christian, but boy, oh boy, becoming a Christian did not put an end to those tough times.
I am going to share something that is very painful. I hope by sharing I can help someone else. I have three children. They are very different, and I love each of them very much. Unfortunately, one of them struggles with many different issues. Many of his issues are of his own making. Some are not. But ultimately, the fact is that his choices and decisions have led to him not being allowed to live at home anymore. He is an adult, but not allowing him to live here is still very difficult.
Unfortunately, he has chosen to put drugs above everything else in his life.
Here is the truth. I have been angry with God. I have been angry with my son. I am very angry with the psychiatrist who discharged him from the hospital after I was told he was being committed to an inpatient rehab facility as soon as a bed became available.
My husband and I struggle because we have learned first hand that tough love is much tougher on the ones enforcing it than on whomever it is being enforced upon.
So, what does all this have to do with being a Christian?
I think there is a common misconception among a lot of people that Christians are immune from a lot of the hardships of life. I think these misconceptions exist in both Christian and non-Christian circles. I know that they exist at least in me because there are still times I try to give God my list of all the reasons this should not be happening to my family--as if we should be immune.
Let me assure you, we are not.
I have choices. I can choose to turn my back on God, blame Him, shake my fist at him, and scream about how unfair it is. Truthfully, I have done some of this. If you want to hear pure honesty, I can't say that I won't be doing these things tomorrow. But hasn't every mother said at least a hundred times to her children, "Life isn't fair?"
I know I heard it from mine, and I have said it myself.
Being a Christian does not guarantee me a perfect life on this earth. It definitely didn't promise me perfect children (Please, if any of you have a perfect child, let me know. I would love to meet one.).
My husband and I have been married for almost 23 years. We made a decision for him to get out of the Navy, so he would be around for the kids (and we would not have to move around like we both grew up doing). When our boys were young, we decided that I would quit my teaching job and stay home. A few years later we decided to homeschool--ultimately because it worked better with my husband's work schedule.
We have always done family stuff, and we have been very involved with church all of their lives. They have all been encouraged to participate in the activities that have appealed to them.
My children have grown up going to church camps and voluntarily participating in countless church activities.
And yet here we are.
It is hard. There are no answers. Not one person can look at my life, and say, "Oh! There it is! That is where you messed up. That explains all of this." Not one person has been able give me a single explanation for the situation with which I am currently immersed in.
So, what is the point? What good is being a Christian if I still have to deal with all these excruciatingly painful situations?
Well, this might sound unbelievable, but to begin with, I have to remember this isn't about me. Yes, it is my son. Yes, it is my family. Yes, it is my broken heart. But there is something so much bigger going on. God is working in and through this situation in so many ways. Some of those ways I may never know. Some of those ways I can already see.
I see God working in the kindness of others. I have seen God working in the selfless offers of help and support from so many people. I know God is working because when I am in a hole so dark I can no longer see light, someone always shows up with a flashlight and a helping hand. I know God is working because over and over again He has put people in front of me who have similar stories and are willing to share them with me.
I know God is working because of the random texts I get from so many people--just checking on me.
I know God is working because there are times when I am so anxious and worried, and I cry out to him, I am filled with a sense of peace that surpasses all understanding.
As a Christian, I am not immune from anything. I am not immune from my child being addicted to drugs. I am not immune from dealing with depression and anxiety.
I am not immune--but I am loved. And God has made me promises, and He has never broken one.
This doesn't mean I like the situation I am in. This certainly doesn't mean I am any less heartbroken. It doesn't mean I won't lose sleep at night wondering where my son is and if he is okay. It doesn't mean I won't shake my fist at God and cry out in anguish and anger.
I do, however, know my God can take it. He understands it, and He has never left me. He has not even left my son.
Please don't read this and think I am up on a soap box preaching about how to react in devastating situations. I am no poster child for the right way to respond in a situation like the one I am in. I want you to hear the brokenness and desperation. My faith sustains me--but God has used a lot of people to hold me up. And on those days when the darkness surrounds me, and I can't even summon up a prayer, I know I have an army of prayer warriors praying on my behalf.
As Christians, we do not have immunity. We do, however, have God, and we have each other. Based on the people God has put in my life, regardless of any situation, I know my life is filled with blessings.