Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Qualities of a "Good" Mom

What are the qualities of a good mom? I am sure if you ask this question of ten moms, you would get ten different answers. There might be some common answers, but I think there would be a lot more that are different.

How do we even list the qualities of a good mom? Here is how I determine my "goodness" (I do not recommend this method). I watch other moms. Then I compare. Well, I do that better than her. Wow, she is really good at that. Maybe that is something I should work on. Oh my, did you hear how she spoke to her child in public? I would never do that. Did you know that mom never raises her voice? I guess I should try to be more like her.

The comparisons go on and on. And it is exhausting.

Here is what I think is the biggest problem with my method...or at least one of the biggest problems. The kids God gave me to raise are not those other moms' kids. And their kids? Not mine.

Now, I know there are moms out there who do some things much better than I do. That does not make me less of a good mom. I am not little Miss Crafty. We will not be doing an organized craft everyday. I am not always relaxed enough to let my kids do things that will create chaos and messes. Sometimes, I am that mom. Sometimes I am not. When I am that mom, they sure do appreciate it. I do raise my voice. I try not to. I pray about it. It is important for me to mention that when I raise my voice, I am not saying hurtful, hateful things. I am just expressing myself more loudly than previously in order to assure that I have been heard. One of my biggies is, "Knock it off!!!" This statement usually follows several quieter requests for whatever desired behavior to stop.

The bottom line is this. What are the qualities of a good mom? Love God first. Love the children. With God's help, do your best. And we need to stop beating up ourselves (and other moms) for not measuring up to whatever measuring stick we have created in our own minds.

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